


Letter to a Loved One

by Ren_writes_badly



Category: Pentatonix, Superfruit
Genre: M/M, Timeline Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-08 20:58:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11654607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ren_writes_badly/pseuds/Ren_writes_badly
Summary: Mitch writes a letter to Scott about all the memories he shared with him throughout their many years of friendship





	Letter to a Loved One

“Dear Scott,  
You brought such a beautiful change into my life. Your constant persistence and drive always kept me going and on my toes. The way you take control of every situation is endearing rather than overbearing. You are my soulmate. You are comforting. You are and will forever be my home.  
\----  
When we first talked you told me I was awesome and so prepared and confident. You had no idea how scared and anxious I was that day while we performed WIlly Wonka for the small crowd. You had the same haircut you have always had and your eyes sparkled with innocence. We were only ten. You will forever be my Charlie.  
\----  
The next time I saw you was at auditions for Annie. You left the small group you were with to come sit with me on the stairs. I remember you asking if I was nervous and I nodded. You stated that you didn’t get nervous then laughed and said you were kidding and that you might throw up if they didn’t call your name soon. I said that I would be ok with them never calling my name and just casting me as a table. We giggled and you leaned into my side. Then they called your name and you stood and left, but not before I told you to break a leg. You stumbled away as if your leg had given out and I giggled. You sparked something in me that day. I think it was determination, or maybe confidence. I wanted them to call me. I was ready for them to call my name. We got the cast lists and we were both just servants. ‘At least we aren’t tables?’ was the first thing you said to me at rehearsal. We were eleven.  
\----  
When I got my first Nokia you were the second person I texted because I texted my dad first. We texted all night. We were less innocent and talked about less innocent topics. You brought up girls. I entertained the topic for a little bit before telling you I’m gay. You said that nothing changed and we were still best friends. We continued talking about risque things until you stopped responding. I assumed you fell asleep and plugged my phone in for the night. That was not the first night I thought about you in a less than innocent way. We were fourteen.  
\----  
There we were sitting on my bed. We were so close I could hear you breathing. I was so self conscious that you could hear my heartbeat. ‘I’m gonna kiss you know.’ The level of confidence was what I had always admired. You tasted like heat and raspberry chapstick. You were so confident. I had no idea what I was doing. You were my first kiss and my first love. It was slow and steady like you were teaching me with your lips, sure, but no words emerged. When you pulled away your face was red and you looked shy for once in your goddamn life. Your eyes were little oceans and they glowed like I had never seen. The ocean was choppy and dangerous.  
A week later you picked me up from my porch at 6:02. You were supposed to pick me up at 6:00. You wouldn’t stop apologizing the whole night despite me telling you it was fine and I didn’t notice.  
Two days later you picked me up again three minutes early. We drove for an hour and talked about what scared us and what our aspirations were. You asked me to be your boyfriend and I of course said yes because who could possibly say no to you. You turned to me quickly mid sentence. ‘Sorry, I want to feel your body. Is that okay?’ It wasn’t a statement like before, but it still oozed confidence.  
‘That’s more than okay.’ was all the confirmation you needed before leaning over to the passenger seat to kiss me. It was nothing like before. It was better which I had no idea was possible. It was faster, more heated.  
That was the first time we hooked up in that stupid Ford ‘05 Mustang. It was incredible. It was incredible until I saw you kissing Natalie after school. I was heartbroken. I never responded to your texts or calls and dodged you in the hallway. You snuck up on me one day when I was walking home from school.  
‘What the fuck, Mitch?’ I was so scared until I remembered what you had done. ‘Some boyfriend you are Scott Hoying.’  
‘I am the bad boyfriend? Last time I checked you are the one who stopped responding to my calls and avoiding me. I haven’t done anything wrong.’ You didn’t look confident because I could see the guilt written all over your face. You knew you had done something wrong, but you thought I didn’t know about it.  
‘I saw you. You were kissing Natalie. It looked pretty damn passionate. I was just trying to let you guys have whatever romance that is. You said you were gay. Guess not.’ I sighed and started walking, but you followed me.  
‘Mitch, I’m sorry. You weren’t supposed to see that. I’m..’ I stopped and stared at you.  
‘So because I wasn’t supposed to see it it’s okay?’ Your eyes widened and you attempted to grab my arm, but I flinched out of reach.  
‘That isn’t what I meant. You know that. Mitchy, Trent was calling me gay. I had to prove to him I’m not!’ You were getting more vulnerable by the second and I was loving it.  
‘But you are gay! Are you not?’  
‘I am. I’m just not ready to be out yet.’ You looked defeated and I felt guilty for about two seconds before being mad again  
‘That’s fine, but you don’t have to go around making out with any girl you can find to prove your fake sexuality to your stupid ‘straight’ jock friends.’  
‘That is not what I was doing.’ You said louder.  
‘Scott, that is exactly what you just told me you did.’  
‘And my friends are straight and they are not stupid!’ You screamed.  
‘Whatever, Scotty, don’t try to call me. I’m done with this.’ That was the most confident thing that I had ever done. We were sixteen.  
\----  
Kirstie was the one who made us talk again. We were in choir together after all. You talked to me first. You had become confident again. I selfishly missed you being vulnerable and me being confident. ‘I’m so sorry. I am an idiot.’ You whispered so the choir director wouldn’t hear and I chuckled.  
‘Hell yes, you are.’ You smiled at my smile and turned to face the director.  
‘I miss you, Mitchy.’ You didn’t look at me, showing me you were nervous about this conversation.  
‘I miss you too.’ I moved closer to you to make sure you could hear me whispering. You took the opportunity to gently grasp onto my hand. ‘No, Scotty!’ You pulled away. ‘You fucked up. I miss you, but we’re just friends, okay?’  
‘Okay.’  
‘Mitch, Scott, please focus on the music and not on each other!’ Mr. Galer said firmly to us.  
‘Sorry, Mr. Galer!’ I blushed as everyone looked at us. It was a wonder he hadn’t moved us. It was an easy move. Scott was on the edge of the baritones and I was on the edge of the tenors.  
‘Hey, movie night at my house tonight, no Kirstie, just us?’ You smiled your million dollar smile and holy shit was that a long night of pretending I didn’t want to kiss you the whole time. We were seventeen.  
\----  
‘Hello, Mitchy?’ Your phone was a piece of shit and it sounded accordingly.  
‘Yeah?’  
‘So, there’s this thing I wanna do. Well, It’s kind of a thing I want to do with you and Kirst Kirst. It is a big deal, but maybe it’s not. I just think that we would be dope and could have a chance. You have such a beautiful voice after all. Kirstie already agreed. You would do so great. I really think it’s a good thing we should do.’  
‘Scotty, what the fuck are you talking about?’ You chuckled and I joined.  
‘The Sing Off. You know the acapella show. We could do it. Auditions are in June.’ You were so excited I could practically see you pacing.  
‘Just the three of us? Don’t we need more for an acapella group?’  
‘Well, we would need a rhythm section, but you should do it, with me, with Kirst and me, I mean. Do you want to?’  
‘Yeah that sounds pretty cool.’ I was not expecting the rollercoaster that was the sing off, but we got Pentatonix together. When you had me meet Avi for the first time I looked like shit and I yelled at you for a week.  
After the second week we fell onto our separate beds in our shared room. I looked over and it was obvious you were totally gone. ‘Scotty?’ All I got was a dull hum. ‘Are you hard right now?’ You giggled and it turned into full blown laughing.  
‘Yeahh’  
‘Scotty, you sound drunk.’ I laughed and you laughed and before I knew it you were on my bed and we were kissing. It was a flood of emotions I had rejected. I was suddenly very vulnerable and I didn’t want to be. ‘Scott, wait.’ You immediately jumped up and stood at the foot of my bed. ‘What about the show. It will get awkward, right. The group will be awkward and it could hurt our chances.’ I hit your biggest weakness, your dreams.  
‘Yeah you’re right.’ You backed up and walked calmly to the bathroom and I soon heard the sound of water turning on and light humming.  
We won the sing off. We were nineteen.  
\----  
Then Alex happened and I accepted my fate in the friendzone. I had, maybe, thought that we would get together eventually and Alex stopped my hopes.The worst part was how nice he was. I wanted to hate him so bad, but he was such a nice guy. He was amazing to you and even to me considering we were connected at the hip.  
One day he pulled me into my room. He had already moved in with us and you two had been together for a while. He sat me down on my bed and said something completely terrifying. ‘I know, Mitch.’ It was ominous and I knew exactly what he was talking about, but I still played dumb.  
‘What are you on about?’ I faked a small laugh to keep the charade going.  
‘Just come clean.’ He paused as if he was waiting for an answer, but started talking again way too fast for me to respond. ‘Scott.’ He took a breath. ‘You love Scott.’  
I tried to fake my way through that conversation, just like high school. ‘Duh. He’s been my best friend since I was ten.’  
‘Mitch. You’re in love with Scott. I’m not mad.’ I was crying. It was too many emotions that I had pushed down for so long. Alex had no idea, absolutely no idea how many emotions those tears held. Such a small thing that held so much. ‘Please, just tell me you are.’  
‘Why are you doing this?’ He looked guilty and I felt bad. Playing the victim always worked, but Alex was stubborn.  
‘I’m not mad at you. I just need a confession.’ He seemed to be getting mad. I had never really seen him mad. You and him never had any fights.  
‘What if I do? I’m sorry, I keep my distance and don’t do anything I can’t handle. I want him to be happy and he is happy with you. I just want him to be happy.’  
Alex laughed. I thought he laughed at me. He just laughed. ‘He isn’t happy with me. He wants you. Get him. You deserve it.’ He wiped a stray tear. ‘I’m out.’ He got up and left. I called him that night and asked what the fuck had happened. You had told him that you love me. You were in love with me and I was scared. I was so scared. Alex was finally gone and this dream of you growing up and being mature enough for a relationship with me was hanging in front of my face, but I was scared.  
I pretended I didn’t know for awhile. I noticed subtle things that you would do like stare at me when you thought I was looking at my phone and laughing at things I said that were not anywhere near as funny as you were portraying them to be. I tried to pretend forever, but that had to come to an end eventually.  
You were laying across the couch with phone in hand and you looked normal. I was about to start the conversation and you looked like regular Scott with your hair messed up a little and your face a little scrunched. ‘Scott?’ You looked up at me and quickly moved to sit so that I could sit next to you.  
‘Yeah, Mitchy?’ In your eyes the sea was calm and soft.  
‘I need you to clarify some things for me. It’s really important.’ You looked unimpressed. Obviously because you didn’t think it was that important. ‘Last month right before Alex left he told me some stuff about you.’ The ocean was suddenly choppy and dangerous. ‘He said that you two were fighting and that you told him that you love me. That you are in love with me.’  
‘Mitch.’ You paused.  
‘Do you feel that way?’  
‘Mitchy…’  
‘Scott, just tell me a straight answer. I won’t be mad or do anything stupid. I just need honesty right now.’  
‘Mitchy, I told him that because we were fighting.’ The waves were crashing into shore and rolling down your cheeks.  
‘So, you don’t feel that way?’  
‘No, I do… I just don’t want to make us awkward. Are we awkward?’  
‘You’re in love with me?’  
‘Yes.’  
‘That’s good.’ And I kissed you. It had been a long time. I had actually done something. It felt good. You smiled into my lips but neither of us pulled away. I felt like I was flying over the ocean. I could see the whales swim along with me. We were twenty three.”

 

A single tear made its way down my face, slowly, unlike your waves.

 

“Scotty… was such a good man everyday. All he did was love everyone around him. He helped me through every tough time in my life. We had our falling outs, but we always found each other again. God is the only blessed one now because he gets to hear you sing.”  
Someone in the chapel cried loud enough to stop me for a moment. It really hit me then. That my Scott was gone. He was completely gone from my world. A few waves crashed.  
“Wait for me, Scotty Buckets. I will see you soon. I will think about you everyday until then.” I had to stop for breath as my sobs got the best of me. “I won’t ever get used to not hearing you sing Beyonce in the shower or making coffee in the morning. I will not be able to handle not being able to see your oceans everyday. Goodbye, love. Love, Mitchy”

I grabbed my papers and left the podium. I could hear the sobs of a few people, or maybe that was just me.


End file.
